Friday, June 17, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I wish I am there right now...
I can't believe that you just had three injections today, son! I thank God that you've made it. I can just imagine now how you have reacted upon those pains. I still recall the first time you receive your third shot of vaccine. Your first two was given at the hospital and I wasn't able to witness them. But your third? I have felt like my heart was broken while I have watched you cry so loudly then. Mother was holding you and though I was so hesitant to hold your hands then, I managed to witness the whole thing. My heart was pierced when I saw you cry and your face have turned violet upon crying so noisily.
And now, you have just got another two at a time. Even if I am not there with you, I know how you have felt, I knew the pain you went through. But do you know that you are such a good and strong boy? Carry up, son. In life there will be so much challenges to come, so much pain to bear, and problems to resolve. Your vaccines are just but one leap. And a sign that you will succeed whatever hindrances that will come on your way. You have made it! And mommy is so proud of you.
Written
June 15, 2011
Office
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
i am a mom now
My friend says, what i am feeling is exactly a mother feeling.. I feel terrible loss when I left my son with my mother in the province. Although my friend says it's normal because I am a working mom and I have to sacrifice moments with my son, still i feel so helpless and I feel that I have abandoned my son. When I call home, I ask every detail of my son's day, what time he wakes up until the query if he had already taken his daily vitamins. My husband says, I am a little bit overreacting. But I insist that calling home is my only way to ease myself, to comfort myself that my son is doing good and he is healthy and fine.
Days have been busy, yet i still managed to make calls at home while i am in the middle of busy work, when clients do demand on anything, never that I lost in my mind the thought of my son. And it comes to a point, always, that all I wanna do is pack my things and go home. I wanted to see him, hug him tight, kiss him, check every part of his body and tell how much i love him even though he doesn't react yet as adults do. I know in my heart that he has been waiting for my every call, he cries or makes a sound as if he had been waiting for me when i make a call and talk to my mother.
I miss you a lot son. I've been counting the days and it feels like years have passed every single day without you. I promise, soon, you will be here with me. Mom and Dad will work but we will make sure that you will be with us. I want to hear you cry, i wanna know what makes you upset, i want to see your smile and i want to laugh with you. I love you, son. Someday, please be a good boy.
Mommy will always be here...
June 14, 2011
Office
Friday, April 8, 2011
Dear Son
Dear Son,
You changed my life in a moment,
And I’ll never be the same again…
It’s been one month and 17 days since your birthday, anak – days that changed mommy’s life instantly. Your existence had caused unexplainable bliss and surprise, having you is really one milestone in my life as a woman. You are so dear to me, the moment I knew it was positive, my heart had celebrated and my gratefulness to the good Lord unceasing. All the labour pains when I gave birth were gone when I heard your first cry. It was the sweetest music I’ve ever heard…
I fell in love again, I knew. Your little face, the small lips, the very innocent eyes – I love them all. I’ll never tire looking at you, curious about every move you make, touching your little fingers, waiting for your rare smile. I remember the ob-gyne’s story when she did the cs operation. I didn’t know that I have asked ‘doc, kumpleto ba anak ko?’ when she showed you to me the moment you came out. That’s me anak, maybe just like other mothers, we wish a normal and healthy baby. God never failed me!
Most of the time you are asleep, while I take pictures of you. Mommy treasures every single moment with you, and it’s like that every moment that pass on is a memory worth to be treasured. I’ll keep these pictures so that you’ll see how you have changed day by day, you’ll know how big the shirts I have bought for you then.
My heart breaks when you cry so loud that I don’t know what made you so upset. I worry for things – are you hurt? Is there an ant right there? Hungry? I knew you cry every time you pee, and I thought you don’t want to get wet! I was so tense when I cut your nails for the first time, I was so afraid to hurt you if I do it without care. Thank God, I made it!
Your dad and I love you very much, son. I pray that we will be able to raise you well, provide all your needs, and teach you to become God’s servant. My heart is filled with wishes for your goodness. I love you and I will always stand by you…
Much love,
Mommy
April 8, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Just the past
Marriage is a never-ending story telling, I say. Conversations before we go to sleep had somewhat became a habit for me and my husband, sharing stories, our own past experiences and it seems that night after night, we still can’t fully know each other. There are still so many things to talk about, to share about, to laugh about, and to feel sad about, remembering our past hardships and difficult times. But with every sharing, we appreciate each other more, accept and love each other even more…
I honestly narrate him my college days, full of pain I say because I nearly didn’t graduate because of our life’s hardships and constraints. I tell him that I am not happy when I recall how I struggled each day to go to school, walking and missing meals just to make both ends meet; not being able to buy a new , being embarrassed for having a worn out in front of people, etc… I recalled how I do laundry job for my landlady just to augment my rental for being a bed spacer in the boarding house. I never had a single book; I was never able to buy one. All was borrowed, and photocopies were rare because I lacked fund to have them copied. Being a scholar was all the hope that I had, and striving hard for it was my main goal before any other thing then. God is good, it paid. I passed the board exam with flying colors!
My husband is younger than me, he has encountered difficulties too, and we just hug when finally we realized we are blessed now, being together is our strength, and though there still lies a very long way to go and without uncertainty of the future, we together hold on to each other to go on with life – enjoying the moment and hoping for positive things to come on our way…
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Now i am Mrs. Reyes
Things were fast, events have been so fast-paced that i was never expecting that last year particularly in August was my wedding - now i am Mrs. Reyes.. Well what's with the new surname? it's so common i think, but then, i am grateful for finally i have found extraordinary love from an ordinary man. Who would think that i am so blessed after all the heartaches that i've been through? God is really a perfect designer of lives. My life is one that He blessed, that he designed well so that i am happy today.
By next month, i shall have my baby - it has been so long that i've dreamt of having one, one i truly call my own son as he is a boy. It's another God's miracle and it is one of the greatest surprises i have received. I am thinking now of a name, me and my hubby have been thinking of a unique name for our son, i pray that God will blessed me and give me strength when the moment of my baby's birth will come. That is probably on February 28 of this year.
What is with marriage? What is new with me now that I am married? For me, this is some sort of a gift. I decided to marry because i believe that I am better in the next years of my life when i am with someone - someone that I can't live without. I am learning new things each day i wake up with my man beside me. Life is completely different, i say, coz as a wife, i have to do my duties. And more so that i am also a career woman, i have a job to attend, and it makes life even more fulfilling for me. I enjoy life despite discovering our differences, it adds spice to our discovery of one another. I am learning too each day how to love him more and to believe even more that God has really made our destiny together.
2011_scorpio
Although natives of Scorpio have a slightly overrated reputation of being self-destructive, their sign is nevertheless full of energy. As a result, they possess great strength of character enabling them to get out of delicate situations and help their close relations when support is needed. Indeed, they are totally committed and show great psychological finesse.
Under their mysterious appearance and deep looks, they are greatly sensitive, mystifying, secretive, and try their best to hide their anxious nature. They must sometimes pay great care because their fragility can lead them to depression. Moreover, they sometimes find it hard to channel their energy. Therefore, engaging in sports is greatly recommended to them.
To allure and keep a Scorpio, put all your cards on the table and show your game entirely because they sincerely hate pretences. Greatly sensual, they are eager for tenderness and return the favor generously. You must avoid hurting their feelings or make fun of them since they are impassioned beings but can also become very resentful. However, be vigilant because they often go from one extreme to another. As a result, they aren’t an example for faithfulness…
The resumption of your essential projects continues intensely, for you, this year. You enter in 2011 pennies of the planetary impulses very instigating to the social plan, relational. And paradoxically, you will test a need for withdrawal, of retreat, even insulation towards the change appropriateness which will still not miss arising. The Jupiter impulses into trigonal to your sign are there to give you the last fundamental dashes of the opening of your ambitions. The Saturn demy-folio comes to reactivate your creativity… In all the fields! You will live intense alternations of contacts and meditation, phases of work concentrated with moments of total relaxation.
WORK
Your social and professional life is announced as pleasant, and lighter until the end of the year. You will take retreat compared to your projects, which allows you to have a comprehensive view righter of the continuation of your activities. This is very positive in particular if you are in a scientific profession, related to the public. The fortuitous dialogues with your collaborators will wake up in you a theoretical amount of creativity which can prove fertile for the future, if you keep them with the heat. The last Jupiter impulses as Poisson will enable you to buckle works in progress among more painful or difficult, the concentration will be with return! It would be positive to remove you from the delays before starting these new designs and ideas more concretely, you do not let carry by the pressure of your entourage, which will wish just a thing, that you launch them.
LOVE
There are passion storms in prospect for you, this year. Indeed, you are at the end of a cycle in the sentimental field, and you will be thirsty to see perfectly clearly, even in what is related to your past. You will turn a page certainly important, but the following one is much more promising in term of potentialities: Your ripening opens new doors to you. Without to change partner, this is especially from your behaviour that many things will be able to change. Crucial questions arise for you lasting first half of the year. You will feel unable to circumvent them, and from the answers quickly will miss you, you who are accustomed to regulating your problems without complication. This time, it will be more difficult, it will be necessary that you mobilize your capacities of reflexion without to lose control. Have confidence, because you will note a first break. You will find your wellbeing and the pleasure will reappear little of time afterwards in your life of couple. In the same way, your capacity of seduction will go up out of arrow, your entourage and your partner more than whoever will surprise you by their will to communicate, to approach you. It is the logical consequence of the feeling to have succeeded in solving these basic problems which lives you. You will be able to taste with the return of your love of life and your emotional life will appear clearer to you relating to long-term future.
MONEY
On the financial ground, you will have urgent points to solve, imperatively. A lack of time is likely to appear, and to put to you in position of alarm. The rigour is on the agenda, to leave certain embarrassments. Passed this course, you will have more possibility of retreat, and this fact a more serene vision as for knowing how to manage your money, and your priorities. Do not hesitate to make the comparative ones, evaluations, do not yield to impulses of purchases for all that touches with the hearth, you would early have made pay more than it is not necessary any, only because you will have listened to your enthusiasm. Do not leave a place to the risk in your mails, it is not excluded that you make an error of distraction, check the practical details.
RELATIONSHIP
The interior deceleration which is done in you can let to you suppose that you will go too slowly towards the achievements of your objectives. You do not trust these completely subjective impressions which from influence Saturn, come spontaneously to you. Indeed, this deceleration can precisely enable you to rectify many shootings which you had developed in the tread of so much other things, that certain corrections could improve the things considerably. Take time to think quietly of the turning which your life takes, anticipation will carry you chance. Assessments, developed are beneficial this year, do not hesitate to insulate to you with this intention.
VITALITY
This is not exactly the great form, at the beginning of year 2011. The accumulation of action starts to weigh on your organization. This one tends to a general deceleration and that is comprehensible, you gave much of your energy especially since last year. The Saturn impulse which is out of Balance reverses the tendency, you must slow down the rhythm for the good of your health, to avoid mental overwork particularly. It would be ideal at the beginning of year to take a prolonged week end to cut you a few times of your concerns. The sleep will be essential to your nervous and emotional recovery. Make not dead end on the fresh produce in your food! The autumnal period will see your form raises some quite naturally.
Under their mysterious appearance and deep looks, they are greatly sensitive, mystifying, secretive, and try their best to hide their anxious nature. They must sometimes pay great care because their fragility can lead them to depression. Moreover, they sometimes find it hard to channel their energy. Therefore, engaging in sports is greatly recommended to them.
To allure and keep a Scorpio, put all your cards on the table and show your game entirely because they sincerely hate pretences. Greatly sensual, they are eager for tenderness and return the favor generously. You must avoid hurting their feelings or make fun of them since they are impassioned beings but can also become very resentful. However, be vigilant because they often go from one extreme to another. As a result, they aren’t an example for faithfulness…
The resumption of your essential projects continues intensely, for you, this year. You enter in 2011 pennies of the planetary impulses very instigating to the social plan, relational. And paradoxically, you will test a need for withdrawal, of retreat, even insulation towards the change appropriateness which will still not miss arising. The Jupiter impulses into trigonal to your sign are there to give you the last fundamental dashes of the opening of your ambitions. The Saturn demy-folio comes to reactivate your creativity… In all the fields! You will live intense alternations of contacts and meditation, phases of work concentrated with moments of total relaxation.
WORK
Your social and professional life is announced as pleasant, and lighter until the end of the year. You will take retreat compared to your projects, which allows you to have a comprehensive view righter of the continuation of your activities. This is very positive in particular if you are in a scientific profession, related to the public. The fortuitous dialogues with your collaborators will wake up in you a theoretical amount of creativity which can prove fertile for the future, if you keep them with the heat. The last Jupiter impulses as Poisson will enable you to buckle works in progress among more painful or difficult, the concentration will be with return! It would be positive to remove you from the delays before starting these new designs and ideas more concretely, you do not let carry by the pressure of your entourage, which will wish just a thing, that you launch them.
LOVE
There are passion storms in prospect for you, this year. Indeed, you are at the end of a cycle in the sentimental field, and you will be thirsty to see perfectly clearly, even in what is related to your past. You will turn a page certainly important, but the following one is much more promising in term of potentialities: Your ripening opens new doors to you. Without to change partner, this is especially from your behaviour that many things will be able to change. Crucial questions arise for you lasting first half of the year. You will feel unable to circumvent them, and from the answers quickly will miss you, you who are accustomed to regulating your problems without complication. This time, it will be more difficult, it will be necessary that you mobilize your capacities of reflexion without to lose control. Have confidence, because you will note a first break. You will find your wellbeing and the pleasure will reappear little of time afterwards in your life of couple. In the same way, your capacity of seduction will go up out of arrow, your entourage and your partner more than whoever will surprise you by their will to communicate, to approach you. It is the logical consequence of the feeling to have succeeded in solving these basic problems which lives you. You will be able to taste with the return of your love of life and your emotional life will appear clearer to you relating to long-term future.
MONEY
On the financial ground, you will have urgent points to solve, imperatively. A lack of time is likely to appear, and to put to you in position of alarm. The rigour is on the agenda, to leave certain embarrassments. Passed this course, you will have more possibility of retreat, and this fact a more serene vision as for knowing how to manage your money, and your priorities. Do not hesitate to make the comparative ones, evaluations, do not yield to impulses of purchases for all that touches with the hearth, you would early have made pay more than it is not necessary any, only because you will have listened to your enthusiasm. Do not leave a place to the risk in your mails, it is not excluded that you make an error of distraction, check the practical details.
RELATIONSHIP
The interior deceleration which is done in you can let to you suppose that you will go too slowly towards the achievements of your objectives. You do not trust these completely subjective impressions which from influence Saturn, come spontaneously to you. Indeed, this deceleration can precisely enable you to rectify many shootings which you had developed in the tread of so much other things, that certain corrections could improve the things considerably. Take time to think quietly of the turning which your life takes, anticipation will carry you chance. Assessments, developed are beneficial this year, do not hesitate to insulate to you with this intention.
VITALITY
This is not exactly the great form, at the beginning of year 2011. The accumulation of action starts to weigh on your organization. This one tends to a general deceleration and that is comprehensible, you gave much of your energy especially since last year. The Saturn impulse which is out of Balance reverses the tendency, you must slow down the rhythm for the good of your health, to avoid mental overwork particularly. It would be ideal at the beginning of year to take a prolonged week end to cut you a few times of your concerns. The sleep will be essential to your nervous and emotional recovery. Make not dead end on the fresh produce in your food! The autumnal period will see your form raises some quite naturally.
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